‘sexting’

Relax, I'm not a "ho"

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Sunday was the premiere of MTV’s Sexting in America special, but I didn’t get to catch it until this morning due to not having cable, homework galore and a 24 hour stomach virus that snuck up on me yesterday.

While the special was interesting, well-made and featured a bevy of professional folk (an internet lawyer, anyone?), I was disappointed in MTV for not embracing teenagers and their emerging sexuality. I feel that adults are not comfortable with acknowledging the growing curiosity with sex amongst young people. That’s one of the biggest issues here, adults want to ignore – the fact that we are experimenting with sex. They assume that they know everything and want to protect us from irresponsibility, but they don’t realize that if they just spoke to us on a ‘real’ level, we would be more comfortable with what we did with our own bodies. And by adults, I mean ALL adults, not just your parents. Just like what Jaclyn Friedman says in her article, “When Sex is Normal, Normal People Will Talk About Sex“, instead of changing our persona “to conform to cultural norms,” we changed “the norms to conform” to our reality.

My generation is the technology generation; when I was thirteen, I registered for my first MySpace account. Everybody had one and altered their page to represent who they are (or who they wanted to be) through layouts, graphics, music, photos, etc. Your e-world revolved around comments, friend requests and number of hits your page received. You knew you had a hot photo when you received 10+ comments on it, and for a young teen, it was definitely a confidence booster. Showing off your abs, flexing your muscles or flaunting your curves was virtually accepted, and if people had a problem with it, then they were considered haters.

Of course, it’s not a smart decision to send a provocative photo of yourself to anyone, particularly an ex-boyfriend (you’re not going out with him for a reason), because it can end up being seen by e-v-e-r-y-o-n-e. However, we shouldn’t start victim-blaming; with each sexting case I come across, the problem starts with the person receiving the text who ends up forwarding it to all his contacts. Then she gets blamed, and the entire school calls her a “slut”, “whore” and “ho.” Here is where the issue of GENDER ROLES come into play. If a guy showed his junk to the entire school, people wouldn’t be calling him a “ho” or a “slut”. They would mostly likely give him props and all the girls would be trying to get with him. But when Ally’s topless photo circulated around the school, she was getting bashed by everyone. One of the name-callers even appeared on the special, claiming that she wanted to fight her because Ally’s boobs appeared on her man’s phone and she was jealous. Girl, don’t you think you man has a collection of playboys under his bed that he peeps every so often?

Not being in high school makes everyone forget how important your reputation meant to you, but once you graduate you realize how pointless all that bullshit was. We should think about why we call a girl a “ho” and “slut” for doing exactly what everyone else is doing. That’s natural… its the shaming that isn’t.

Send us Your Line!

Ever so slightly…

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Had a blast on Valentine’s Day at the Cowgirl Hall of Fame with the feminist twitter crew: @JerinAlam, @ClinicEscort, @sassbutt, @trixiefilms, @melissagira, @K_Bridgeman, @AdjoaSankofia, and @HappyFeminist. And yes, even as I read this, I’m still saying the “at” -  whatevs.

@MelissaGira sums it up:
Feminist brunch. Mimosas. Every conversation you think it would be (gender nonconformity, fetuses, grits, sex work).

We missed those that couldn’t make it!

"ASK ME" an internet Valentine

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Hello fellow travelers on the filmmaking/social media super highway!

Sending out some Valentine’s Day love, and I wanted to highlight something great that happened today, that took some Internet & twitter magic to come to fruition.

Since its launch, our team has been watching MTV’s “A Thin Line,” a campaign, dedicated to raising awareness of “Digital Abuse,” and helping teens untangle normal versus unhealthy relationship dynamics. They focus on how cell phones can amplify and exacerbate abusive behaviors. Some of my favorite slogans are: It’s a thin line between attentive/obsessive, curious/controlling, love/abuse. I was thinking that we over here at The Line Campaign, have a lot of  things in common such as: young people, sexuality, violence, web-based media, and activism.

I initiated a twitter back and forth about Beyonce’s “Video Phone” video (*ugh*) and then I asked our fab intern Ingrid to do some research and write a post about their campaign. It was a couple weeks before February, Teen Dating Violence Awareness month, so we took a look at Katie Couric’s piece on the topic, too. Ingrid spent a lot of time on both initiatives, picking apart what was authentic, realistic, what felt scripted, what related to her demographic, and what fell flat. She posted Corporation: FAIL! Teens, Sex & Violence. I tweeted to @a_thin_line that they were featured on the blog and -Internet magic!-  they responded. The takeaway here is your voice does matter.

MTV then invited us to a meeting at Viacom HQ to discuss their work and hear our feedback. Obviously, I let 18 year old Ingrid do the talking, her comments ranged from the show “16 & Pregnant” not showing struggles of lower income or homeless girls, “Jersey Shore” which entertains us with violence in every episode, and the PSA’s for “A Thin Line” not showing real kids going through the issues. I mediated, waxing the benefits of reaching a wide audience, raising awareness, and the reality of working within a Corporate Social Responsibility framework.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, me and the home team shot and edited a short video using candy and some of our favorite responses to “where is your line?” Our hope was that with the video would go viral on Valentine’s Day and drive more traffic to the site and generate interest in the film and campaign.  Ingrid followed up our meeting at MTV with an email and a link to our video “ASK ME” — and today they posted it!

What’s really exciting is that we developed The Line Campaign with support from The Fledgling Fund in June, and only went live in September 2009. The trailer for THE LINE has been on Vimeo for less than a year, and already has over 12,000 views. We are learning as we go, and the results have been really interesting.

Where will it lead next? A broadcast on MTV or streaming broadcast on MTV.com? We sure hope so!

Send us Your Line!

Corporation:FAIL! Teens, Sex & Violence

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I am not an avid TV watcher, but I keep up to date with what’s going on in pop culture through the status updates on my Facebook news feed. After MTV aired the episode of Jersey Shore where Snooki, one of the guidettes,  gets punched by a guy at the bar, I read Facebook statuses of friends like “damn that bitch got smacked” and “that’s so crazy, pumped for next week’s episode”. I was interested in how MTV would deal with the violence, so I sat at home and caught a re-run of that episode. After the show, MTV stated they did not condone violence and if you are in a situation where you are being abused, please contact a hotline and seek help. It felt like they were clearing their name, airing a 60-second PSA on dating violence, after glorifying violence against women. I doubt the millions of viewers who drank in Jersey Shore sat around afterward discussing gender violence, or how fucked up it was on MTV’s part to promote the episode using that clip. Most people were excited to catch next week’s episode and hoped it was as juicy.

February is Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month, and I’ve been watching an influx of shows, PSAs and segments created by the mainstream media in order to combat this “rising epidemic” of teen dating violence and “sexting”. MTV has launched their own campaign against ‘digital drama’ and ‘sexting’, A Thin Line, with a website full of expensive-looking videos, quizzes and stories targeted towards teens. As a young womyn of color and a product of this generation, I couldn’t help but notice how much money MTV executives were spending to create a website for teens with hired teen actors and a $10k challenge. Is this what MTV is presenting to my peer group? A handful of badly-written scripts, supposedly “for us” with some edgy graphics?

Katie Couric’s featured video was on teen dating violence, and was basically “A Thin Line” for mothers. The video did offer heartfelt stories, alarming statistics and voices of real victims of violence, but what I got out of the thirty-minute segment is terror that clueless mothers across America are jotting down mental notes listening to Couric & Co.’s advice. Couric suggests that parents should ban their child from using his/her phone at night and keep the computers outside the bedrooms. If my mother banned me from my phone after 9 p.m. to keep me safe from violence, I would have told her to stop paying attention to novelas! Follow Couric’s advice if you want your daughter/son hating you; adolescence is hectic as it is, no need for more tension in the household.

As a young feminist-activista growing up in Bushwick, I was aware of violence; I would hear couples arguing in the streets at night, witnessed husbands raising their hands at wives, and know girls who think when a guy gets crazy jealous its because he loves her. Going to high school in the Lower East Side, I became more involved with the activist scene and declared myself a feminist. After the murder of a seventeen year-old Tina Negron at a local supermarket by her boyfriend, a neighborhood coalition formed called The Power of Peace. POP wants to put an end to violence and promote peace through organizing marches, events and community projects. Through empowering young people to make change, we can create environments and give them the knowledge to make smarter decisions. I doubt my friends have seen the Couric special or heard of “A Thin Line”, and they probably wouldn’t show much interest in it, since we’re not represented. Corporate media, we’re smarter than you think we are, so give us respect and show an interest in what we actually have to say!

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