‘international’

Street Harassment is Violence, Too!

I don’t remember the first time I was catcalled- or the last. I have actually become so accustomed to street harassment that I don’t bat eyelashes at it anymore; I walk on, I attempt to be fearless. When I was 18 and had started school, it terrified me to be out alone and encounter a talkative stranger. To this day, I walk a little faster around men who whistle and men who yell. When I was 18 and had started an internship, an older man on the metro asked me to live with him, and then backed off and remarked that he would leave me alone “because I looked like a nice girl.” (This was a feminist awakening, and I wish he knew that he spurred what became my feminist career.) When I was 18 and had just ventured DC alone, a much older man asked me where I lived, and if he could fly me back to New York with him.

Street harassment is a daily exercise in the life of a woman. It happens to women regardless of their lifestyle, appearance, behavior, location, status, ethnicity, or life experience. Street harassment happens to women when they are alone, traveling with others, and even (in one of my cases) when they are walking with their colleagues or supervisors. Street harassment is a pervasive form of verbal and physical violence against women. For many women, the problem is too pervasive and stubborn and appears impossible to solve. Many have given up in the face of comments like “why did you wear that?” or “why were you in that neighborhood?” For many women, street harassment has become an annoying, embarassing, and secret activity. For many women, it is a form of verbal and physical violence that goes ignored by them and their friends and loved ones.

For those women, there is Hollaback!, an organized movement against street harassment. Founded by Emily May in New York City, I began to consult the project on social media when they had already chaptered Hollabacks in other countries and continents, as well as across the nation in a host of cities. On July 8, Hollaback! will be celebrating its launch in Brooklyn, New York – the beginning of their second stage will be ushered in by a series of applications (for the iPhone, Android, and more) and a new focus on exposing street harassers, mapping where harassment happens, and then attempting to legislate against it.

I was probably no more than 13 when I began to struggle with street harassment. It is a behavior that confounds me, and frustrates me. The Sexist at Washington City Paper has published stories about violent street harassers who strike. (Similarly, she also reported on Miss DC’s recent badass attack on her harassers.) For women in the United States and around the world, freedom of movement is still a fantasy, hindered by misogyny that is manifested in catcalls, wolf whistles, and other forms of dangerous and dehumanizing behavior.

This spring, I was asked to lead my school’s Take Back the Night march against sexual assault, rape, and other forms of violence against women. I marched defiantly and proudly, finally free from the constraints of acceptable behavior and finally free from the overwhelming inability to fight back that so many women encounter in situations of street harassment. From the past week, I can recount around five examples of street harassment directed at me, all while I was walking to and from work, networking receptions, and concerts- and I’m done.

This July 8, I am giving street harassers exactly what- and all that- they deserve: a big fuck you.

Hollaback PSA! from Emily May on Vimeo.

Feministing: “It’s kinda like an app, but it’s a movement”

via Feministing Community, by Emily May (Founder, HB! NYC)

NOTE: At the time of this reposting, there are seven days left to give to HB!

Hollaback! is a movement to end street harassment. They believe that street harassment isn’t the price you pay for living in a city, taxes are.

Hollaback! started in 2005, when they combined cell phone cameras with blogs to give women and LGBT folks a bad-ass response to street harassment. The idea was simple: to create a world where everyone could feel safe, confident, and sexy when they walk down the street. The movement grew, and Hollaback! is now in eight cities across the world.

Street harassment is poised to be the next significant women’s movement, in the same way workplace harassment was in the 1980s. To push this issue over the tipping point, Hollaback! is revamping and combining mapping with real-time reporting to collect the first-ever data on when and where street harassment happens. They are developing an iPhone app to make this possible, with SMS texting to come. Using the collective voices of women and the LGBT community, they are going to use the map to bring awareness to this insidious issue.

But they need your help. The are running a campaign on Kickstarter right now and they’ve already raised $5,000. But here’s the catch: they don’t get any of the money unless they raise the next $8,000 in 9 days.

Five dollars can buy you a footlong, or a cocktail, or some expensive coffee. Now it can also buy you a world where you get to be your sassy, fearless self all the time. A world where you don’t have to “check” your gender or your sexuality before you walk out the door.

Donate to Hollaback! today to create the world you deserve. Do it for yourself, do it for the future.

You have the right to feel safe, confident and sexy when you walk down the street.

Freedom to choose (in Farsi)

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Vintage Sexual Harassment – Jerusalem, 2000

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Cleaning out my office yesterday, I stumbled upon a decade-old stack of printed out emails and photographs. Ten years ago I was living and working in Jerusalem, my hair was long and black, and wearing a tank top was a subversive act. Here’s a little snapshot of a hot June morning, and for the record, my shoulders were bare.

From: Nancy Schwartzman, Jerusalem

To: Ex Boyfriend, Brooklyn

Sent: Tuesday, June 27, 2000 9:50 AM

Subject: Jerusalem Morning

We’re all jaded. Ears Accustomed. Eyes averted.

We’ve heard it all before:

Cat calls and whistles up and down Atlantic Avenue-

Little boys too young to call you beautiful, men too old to even look at you-

Spanish, Spanglish, Chinese, English, whispers, shouts, hisses…

Canal Street, Houston, Park Ave., 4th Ave., Douglass, Amsterdam, the A, B C and D.

But this one was different:

9:00 am. Blazing Sun. Pale, pale me. Stumbling along through the park to my office – no coffee, too vain to wear a hat,  shielding my eyes from the desert sun searing over the Hinnom Valley.  Dressed in New York black, red Kenneth Cole Slides. Feeling Fierce.

From between the cracks in my fingers,  a vision of the tiniest, most wrinkled man, appears out of a cloud of desert dust, a scarf flapping carelessly over his shoulder. A brown grisled hand clutches his crotch as he hobbles toward me.

I avert my eyes.

He continues on his bowlegged path, crotch in hand, destination unclear.

No, not him. He needs to relieve himself. He’s a grandpa! Not him, not now. So old, so small, too early in the morning, and I can’t run on slippery Jerusalem stones in my sloping Slides.

The inevitable happens. Crotch grabbing, scarf flapping, legs bowling, teeth missing -leans in real close, reaches out to touch and asks:

“do you speak English? I love you.”

When I’m no longer living in the Middle East, am I gonna miss mornings like this?

love,

nancy

And to try and answer that question now, I can say that yes I miss hot, desert mornings and no, I don’t miss feeling intimidated by a wrinkled old man. Next time, I’ll have my camera with me… Anyone wanna start a HollabackJerusalem?

Can You Look At Yourself In The Mirror?

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Fresh from the glossy coffee table of our amazing designer Thomas Cabus, who also moonlights as the daily photographer toto. He lives and works in Paris, taking snapshots of city life, dark bars and trashy locals. Two friends came by his groovy apartment for a private Parisian screening and came up with:

Jamais si je peux pas me regarder le lendemain dans la glace

Jamais defoncee

Want to hazard a translation?

A few clues: Never, mirror & trashed

Sexist Boyhood in Urban NJ

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I actually really love talking about sex with my parents. From that special moment when I was watching Bernadette of Lourdes and asked what an ‘immaculate conception’ was and was informed more about ‘conception’ than my 9-year-old mind could take, my parents have always been pretty open about sex, and I as well. Though we don’t always get along or agree, I respect the two of them a lot, and as awkward as it sounds, am happy that they still have a sex life after twenty-three years of marriage, and are looking pretty damn good for their age.

I went out to dinner with them last weekend; my dad was in town to run the Marine Corps Marathon. I’m not exactly sure how it began, but we started talking about societies’ views on sex and nudity – how boys don’t shower together in gym like they did when my dad was my age, about an conversation that my mom once had with her students, while teaching a study-skills class back in New Jersey.

Hey, Mrs. C, we got a question.
What is it?
Do you think it’s okay to go for it if the girl is drunk?

My mom sat down with a sigh, about to humor their question.

Why are you even asking that. Do you really want to go for it and have sex with a drunk girl if you’re sober?
No, no, no! You don’t understand, don’t get me wrong, I want us both to be drunk!

Where I come from in New Jersey is almost a majority-minority town. The public high school, which I attended for two years, was 75% Latino, and speaking from observation, Spanish girls tended to be more willing to be submissive to their men, and the young men were extremely masculine – willing to fight, take risks, carry weapons, and dominate women and each other. My mom found it tough sometimes, especially when she had to deal with study-skills sessions, which weren’t the smartest or most well-behaved kids, but they respected her enough to give their honest opinions, one guy said—

Well, girls should be careful when they get drunk, they should know what us guys are like.

As my mom had said later, even if she had wanted to slap him for his words, or even if every other person we knew had scorned him for the statement, it was undeniably his honest opinion, and right or wrong, that’s what he felt and that’s how he acted in his life – that guys are a certain way, and they can’t control themselves when it comes to girls.

Feminism wasn’t something I considered back in New Jersey as ever having an impact on my life. I lived in a town where women seemed to be subservient to men by culture, and I went to an all-boys Catholic school, where the only talk of women was in the most objectified way possible – even more so due to our lack of opportunity to interact with women in school.

When there’s no girls around, it seemed that there was no check on the misogyny and masculinity of eight hundred teenage boys. But I knew something was strange, as I didn’t adhere to the beliefs of my peers, who talked about the newest bitties of the weekend, and called out at young female teachers in the hallway. I dated in high school, and was in a long-term relationship with an older, extremely artistic and open-minded girl for two years. We were inexperienced, but I couldn’t imagine an arrangement in which we were anything but equal. Other relationships I saw and witnessed in high school struck me as so foreign – how could some of these girls be so blind as to not realize how little he cared for her? How could they even call this a relationship?

In college, things are different. People are feminist, and queer, and polyamorous, and unconcerned with gender roles in a way that was impossible back in New Jersey. (There were also hipsters, a very rare sight in Bergen and Hudson Counties.) When I came back in the summer and began delivering at a local restaurant, it was a return to the masculinity of working-class New Jersey, and a culture shock for me. During the day I worked in urban Hudson County with men who called at women on the street, customers who would be abusing their wives when I rang their doorbell, and every vulgar thing said about lesbians who ‘just need to get fucked in the ass to make them straight,’ but at night I’d be in a whole new world, whether with my amazing feminist friend Carmyn in the leafy northern suburbs, or with my open and egalitarian family, or with my friends who disavowed the kind of sexism that seemed to be so pervasive in the city.

I don’t know where to go from here, and I don’t fully feel comfortable singling out the black and Latino people who always seemed to be the most sexist and the most spiteful towards women. For every Salvadorean man who would be coming into the restaurant barking at his wife and daughters there would be an equally repulsive white man throwing his wife into walls right in front of me, the delivery boy. For every Blood that came in with a sneer, his girlfriend weeping, there might be a Norteño covered in tattoos smiling at his wife and taking a sincere interest in what his daughter had to say.

Generalizations mean everything, and nothing. I don’t have enough experience in all-white areas to say whether they’re just as sexist – but I don’t think it really matters. In any population you can find good and bad.

It’s hard for me to imagine a world where sexism is dead; we hope for every generation to be an improvement on their parents’, but I see no clear improvement in mine, decades after the civil rights and first- and second-feminist movement was relevant. The people of my generation associate feminism more with the hateful ideals of Dworkin rather than the tolerance of Paglia or other modern feminists. Personally, I keep it real with the people I work with, and even if I can’t change their minds, I will never agree with their views on women for the sake of fitting in with them, or even endearing myself to them. I’ll continue trying to treat every girl I interact with, whether romantically, as friends, or even just in passing, with all the respect I can afford.

What was it like growing up in your town?

Are We Speaking The Same Language?

This is my very first little video shot with the Sanyo Xacti and edited on iMovie. A little bumpy and uneven, but its a learning process. Makes you realize how important sound is. Even if the picture jumps, if you’re sound is continuous you’d notice it less.

Back in September, my film opened for Deborah Kampmeier’s VIRGIN, starring the incredible teenaged Elisabeth Moss at the International Women’s Film Festival in Israel. After our screening they took us out for a yummy lunch with food and wine. This is what film producer and festival programmer Sigal had to say about her line. I love the idea that when you speak your mind, and do it clearly, some folks might still try and act like you’re talking about the birds!

17 Things to Remember About Sexuality

This Summer I had a kickass honeymoon in Turkey, a glorious and complicated place; religious, sensual, ancient, modern, all things juxtaposed at once. A destination at the crossroads, lots of different people visit Turkey to play. I saw Saudi Arabians shopping like crazy, Russians doing “business”, and Brits frying themselves on sand beaches and engaging in a dangerous combination of karaoke and pole dancing. I could have stayed there a year.

After gallivanting in the sun, I topped off my trip with some serious feminism. I had the pleasure of meeting up with Efsa Kuraner, from Women for Women’s Human Rights, an organization at the forefront of Women’s Rights and Women’s Sexual Rights in Muslim societies.  They were preparing for their second conference for the Coalition for Sexual and Bodily Rights in Muslim Society. I was honored when Efsa decided to include THE LINE in their program and share it with activists from the Middle East, North Africa and Asia.

Here is one participant’s round up of the conference, published on Bekhsoos, a Queer Arab magazine.

I particularly like this bit:

Sexual health is about the well-being of every human being, not just the absence of disease. It involves safety, freedom from discrimination and violence, as well as respect. Much like health is a fundamental human right, sexual health must be a basic human right. Sexual health is an ongoing process that covers the entire life span, people of diverse sexualities and forms of sexual expression. It is influenced by gender norms and roles.

"Know How To Satisfy Moi"

Strolling down St. Marks Place, on one of the last of New York’s sticky Summer nights, I ran into this gal I know from Lower East Side youth activism. She was down to make some stickers, as long as I didn’t take a photo of her while she was smoking a cigarette.  At first she was stumped…  “be a genius with your penis” was her friend’s motto, but wasn’t quite right for her. She opted for something a little sexier. The “moi” in case you don’t know, is “me” in French.

Going back to find THE LINE again

I’m somewhere over the Atlantic Ocean trying to sleep, but my mind is racing. After flying through deadlines to finish THE LINE and launch this blog (!), here I am on Continental flight #687, headed to the International Women’s Film Festival of Israel, but for now alone with my thoughts.

I am going back.

nancy in the desert

It was exactly this time ten years ago that I moved to Jerusalem. With a duffel bag and a video camera I showed up leaving my American post-college, broken-up heart scattered like glass all over Brooklyn. In Jerusalem I found something of a home, exotic but eventually familiar. I experimented with covering my body (shoulders, elbows and knees mostly), and tried on religious sexual codes for some long and lonely months. Beyond clothing, young religious women in Jerusalem waited for marriage before having sex, and beyond chastity, they were forbidden to touch men at all. Touching was sacred, your body a gift, and this present was to be revealed to the man of your dreams, aka your “soul mate” on your wedding night.  Eroticized and heightened to such a degree, eye contact on a bus, or hands brushing at the cash register could be truly electrifying.

This new paradigm made my body felt calloused, desensitized and worn, but by wrapping myself in layers of baggy cotton, I was disguised. The not-sexual-me, in a body of indistinguishable proportions. My secret female powers stashed away, sometimes I felt safe, powerful and in control. Choosing to cover helped me fit in and left me free from blame. Divorcing my power from my sexuality released me from old patterns, and gave me agency to choose between guarding it or giving it away. However, the idea that “innocence trumps experience” left little room for those of us women who had already fallen. Dressing up started to feel like a charade, and I craved the sexual me and my tight jeans again.

My yearlong adventure ended abruptly (with a sexual assault, detailed in full in my film). Back in New York, I didn’t know how to measure what had changed. How could I compare myself now to the person I was before?

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