‘college’

Consent 101: M.I.T

What is sexual consent? Where do we draw the line? How do we negotiate consent in our daily lives–in our sexuality, relationships, and the millions of other choices we face in our day to day lives? What is it that makes us say “yes” and what makes us say “no”–and how do we let people know and respect our decisions?

I screened The Line at M.I.T. and asked them!

Mutual respect, care and pleasure.

We don’t necessarily have to be in love, but you will respect me and treat me like the goddess that I am.

Know what it means to enjoy sex–then you know what you want.

Being fully conscious of what I am doing.

Sex is fabulous! But it better be as fabulous for me as it is for you.

Yes in bed does not mean yes in the park.

Ask me before you put it ANYWHERE.

 

Consent 101: Hunter College

What is sexual consent? Where do we draw the line? How do we negotiate consent in our daily lives–in our sexuality, relationships, and the millions of other choices we face in our day to day lives? What is it that makes us say “yes” and what makes us say “no”–and how do we let people know and respect our decisions?

I screened The Line at Hunter College and asked them!

 

I don’t know. As a male, I didn’t know I was allowed to have one.

Wherever I decide it is. Not you. Not my parents. Not my religion. Not my culture.

Changes every second, minute, hour, day–and with every person.

It changes. I’m learning to tell you, but please ask me!

Understanding the implications of my actions.

It’s mutual. No one is entitled to my body.

Ask me “Is this okay?” as we go. IT DOESN’T KILL THE MOOD. IT TURNS ME ON!

Have the respect to ask me and don’t judge me for saying no.

Wherever, whenever, and wherever I say it is.

 

 

Consent 101: Penn State at Abington

What is sexual consent? Where do we draw the line? How do we negotiate consent in our daily lives–in our sexuality, relationships, and the millions of other choices we face in our day to day lives? What is it that makes us say “yes” and what makes us say “no”–and how do we let people know and respect our decisions?

I screened The Line at Penn State at Abington and asked them!

When you stop listening.

When I fucking say NO!

Put a ring on it.

I refuse to cheat even when he is 3,000 miles away.

When I tell you f*** off.

Where she draws it.

Knowing someone inside and out…true love.

“I don’t know what happened” …is not an answer!

 

Consent 101: LREI High School

What is sexual consent? Where do we draw the line? How do we negotiate consent in our daily lives–in our sexuality, relationships, and the millions of other choices we face in our day to day lives? What is it that makes us say “yes” and what makes us say “no”–and how do we let people know and respect our decisions?

I screened The Line at LREI High School and asked them!

Undefined, but never changing–unless I decide differently.

I’ll be the judge of that. Not you.

Mutuality. It’s a two way street.

It depends. It tends to bend.

I don’t really know. You should ask and find out.

Ask me and you’ll know. Otherwise, you just don’t care.

Only when there is trust do we draw the line together.

Love, trust, emotion, respect.

 

Consent 101: Northwestern University

What is sexual consent? Where do we draw the line? How do we negotiate consent in our daily lives–in our sexuality, relationships, and the millions of other choices we face in our day to day lives? What is it that makes us say “yes” and what makes us say “no”–and how do we let people know and respect our decisions?

I screened The Line at Northwestern University and asked them!

 

You’ll know when I want you.

When I lose my individuality.

When I’m ready I’ll let you know…yes means yes!

Only I can know. Only I can tell you. Listen and respect my answer.

Wouldn’t you like to know? Just ask!

Respect me for who I am and what is in my heart, not just for what is underneath my clothes.

Mine is invisible. Proceed with caution.

No social conservatives.

Consent 101: Cornell University

What is sexual consent? Where do we draw the line? How do we negotiate consent in our daily lives–in our sexuality, relationships, and the millions of other choices we face in our day to day lives? What is it that makes us say “yes” and what makes us say “no”–and how do we let people know and respect our decisions?

I screened The Line at Cornell University and asked them!

 

Don’t try anything stupid.

Take me seriously when I say no. Don’t try to change my mind.

It moves. Please ask. I’ll do the same for you.

Guilt trips are not sexy.

If you don’t know me well enough to ask me.

When the basis of intimacy is no longer emotional or intellectual and physicality is demanded of me.

My purity.

Ask me. We can find out together.

 

Badass Activist Friday Presents: Shira Tarrant

Last Friday, we could not post the interview with our Badass Activist of the week, Shira Tarrant, because of power outages due to severe weather. So, as promised, we’re posting the interview now.

This interview is part of our Badass Activist Friday series. Whether social media queens and kings, creative artists, sex educators, or just kick-ass personalities, these people harness righteous anger, instigate movements and inspire cultural change. We’re here to honor them and their work, but more importantly, to highlight how we can all get up, plug in, and Just Start Doing.

Shira holds a PhD in Political Science and is an Associate Professor in the Department of Women, Gender and Sexuality Studies at California State University in Long Beach. She has written and edited several books (including Men and Feminism and When Sex Became Gender) and she has appeared pulbications such as Ms Magazine, Bitch and AlterNet, among others.

Let’s hear what she has to say!

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Consent 101: University of Wisconsin at Oshkosh

What is sexual consent? Where do we draw the line? How do we negotiate consent in our daily lives–in our sexuality, relationships, and the millions of other choices we face in our day to day lives? What is it that makes us say “yes” and what makes us say “no”–and how do we let people know and respect our decisions?

I screened The Line at University of Wisconsin at Oshkosh and asked them!

 

Always ask me.

I’m done being hurt. Let me call the shots once.

Crazy and unpredictable (just like me!) ASK!

I will not be your one night stand. Prove to me that you are worth it!

When I trust him and he loves me.

Just because I’m married doesn’t mean I can’t say no! I say it all the time.

It involves open communication and respect.

 

Consent 101: University of Wisonsin at La Crosse

What is sexual consent? Where do we draw the line? How do we negotiate consent in our daily lives–in our sexuality, relationships, and the millions of other choices we face in our day to day lives? What is it that makes us say “yes” and what makes us say “no”–and how do we let people know and respect our decisions?

I screened The Line at University of Wisconsin at La Crosse and asked them!

 

It really changes. I have to feel like we are both in it, not just him.

Sex can wait. Masturbate.

Thin, flexible, strong–ask and we’ll explore!

When I wear a cute outfit and a guy looks at my eyes instead of my boobs or my ass.

When I say “No” don’t pressure me to have to say “Yes.”

Let’s explore each other with love and respect.

 

On Rape Culture, Co-Opting, and #OccupyingEverything

Two weeks ago, a young woman at #OccupyWallStreet was raped in her tent. He was out on bail from another rape–and had been accused of assaulting another woman in the park.

Her rape was not the first. Another woman was raped in her tent at #OccupyCleveland–and was accused of being a spy from the government to make #OccupyWallStreet look unsafe. One woman was sexually assaulted and went to the police, only to be promptly dismissed with, “That’s what you get for sleeping away from home.” Needless to say, he did not pursue her assault.

In response to the rape at #OccupyWallStreet–which of course, is the one that is getting any press whatsoever–several women at Occupy Wall Street have united with Code Pink to make a women’s only “safe space” tent–a place where women can sleep without fear or risk of male intrusion and sexual assault.

Although the tent is durable and strong–a militaristic greenish gray, decorated with slogans like “we are strong women” and “strong women occupying wall street,” to me, it is an upsetting symbol of the feminine presence at #OccupyWallStreet. It is a crisis response–something that had to be erected because of the harsh realization that Liberty Plaza, a place that is supposed to be a beautiful symbol of the world that we wish to occupy (a world that is not only free of capitalism and corporate greed, but free of the systems of patriarchy, violence, racism, and discrimination that our current economic system institutionalizes) is not a safe space. Though the well meaning white people in the movement have claimed–and been criticized–for purporting that the movement is free from the race, gender, and class lines that once divided us, it has been made clear that these have not only shaped our pasts, but severely occupy our present.

The reality is, women are raped. This woman was raped, and she wasn’t the first and she will not be the last. The reality is, we are not in a social place where we can occupy a space equally without being preoccupied by concern for our safety.

The tent was erected the week following the rape. Though many people were supportive of the tent, and applauded the women who built it, plenty undermined its significance. In the park, some men grumbled that women claim that sexual assault is rape and overreacted to the situation. On the Internet, many commented articles about the safe space and the sexual assault problem with asinine comments like, “rapists are in the ninety-nine percent too.”

Here is the thing.

#OccupyWallStreet is a movement for economic justice. Unlike an ordinary protest–something where we have a protest permit, signs, and stand with megaphones on a street corner or in a public square for two hours–we have vowed to literally occupy the space until substantial change occurs in our system. There are no permits, as there is no respect for the traditional order that has governed and broken our system. Instead, there is a new system–something that has been built upon consensus, and now–due to the sheer size of the movement–is experiencing its own trials and evolution in political organization. At the root of this new system–no matter what the internal strife in operations–is the desire to model a society based on what we want to live in.

In this society, I don’t want to have to sleep in a tent away from everyone–a glaring symbol of my inequality and vulnerability. I don’t want to be segregated by my gender, because my gender is occupied by a certain set of issues and concerns.

As long as we are imagining idealism, and fearlessly advancing radical ideas, shouldn’t we be discussing a world without sexual violence? It is a necessary temporary fix to have a women’s only “safe space” in Liberty Plaza–but activism, and discussions around rape culture, rape accountability, and sexual violence should continue and be an integral part of a radical liberation movement. Ending the fight against sexual violence with a women’s only safe space effectively bails out rape culture–due to our broken justice system, and our propensity to easy fixes rather than discussions around systemic change, rape and sexual violence is not only ignored, but effectively enabled.

We need the same discussions around systemic roots, accountability, and collective justice surrounding sexual violence that we are building around corporate greed and financial terrorism (not to mention complete and utter disillusionment with our justice system). As long as we are exercising the radical imagination to reclaim our political, economic, and social system from the forces that have constricted and bound us in an eternal cycle of inequality, why claim ourselves a culture without sexual violence and educate and organize around #OccupyRapeCulture?

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