Comments on: Is Sex Blogging Consensual?

By: Consensual Sex Blogging: When private is public | Sex Toys 2 You

Consensual Sex Blogging: When private is public | Sex Toys 2 You — Sun, 21 Nov 2010 12:57:56 +0000

[...] just been reading an interesting article over on Jezebel by Ronan, who originally posted it over on The Line. The question at the centre of the post was how sex blogging can or cannot be considered [...]

By: where is your line? » Blog Archive » Jezebel readers respond: is sex blogging consensual?

Thu, 10 Jun 2010 23:47:32 +0000

[...] home / about / submit / resources / shop / book THE LINE « Is Sex Blogging consensual? [...]

By: wonkyfactory

wonkyfactory — Wed, 09 Jun 2010 12:57:50 +0000

I think the fact that you’re not comfortable discussing hook-ups with your previous partners is probably a bigger problem than whether you should be discussing them with the larger community. Maybe the problem is not blogging about the hook-ups, but the hook-ups themselves. And if you’re not comfortable talking about hook-ups with the partners in those hook-ups, how can you be comfortable talking about them with everyone else?

The main reason I think it’s important to run these posts past the subjects is that I think it’s important to get their perspective and feelings about what happened. If you’re using your own experiences to try to draw any conclusions about sex in general (which I guess I’m assuming is the point of any sex blog) it seems like it’s only ethical to make sure you understand your partner’s point of view on the experience first.

By: Ronan Conway

Ronan Conway — Tue, 08 Jun 2010 15:38:41 +0000

Wonkyfactory – It’s not always possible to ask consent to share a story – and in some cases it could be awkward, dredging up old memories of a one-time hookup.

By: Sean

Sean — Tue, 08 Jun 2010 15:34:48 +0000

I think it depends a bit on context, which I think is what Nancy was saying. If a sex blog is written fixated on the other person and is negative or revenge oriented, yeah, that’s unacceptable. However, I’m not entirely convinced that it’s otherwise wrong.

So long as you are discussing your experience it seems to me it should be yours to share. If you’re not using the sex blog as a forum to denigrate or defame and are sharing your particular experience of an event, then its yours to relate as you please where you please. You don’t get a say in how anyone else may relate an experience they shared with you and similarly they should get no say in how you relate the experience.

Anyway, that’s my thinking. It’s a good topic to consider.

By: Nancy

Nancy — Tue, 08 Jun 2010 14:59:30 +0000

Omg, “blog worthy” sex! That’s really funny.

By: Nancy

Nancy — Tue, 08 Jun 2010 14:58:23 +0000

What if its a one night stand, and you won’t see the subject of the story again? Or you don’t want to see or talk to them again?

Aren’t these experiences “ours” to remember, keep and record, or are they “shared”? What do we really owe that person? I guess it depends on the spirit in which you write and if its for revenge, that will always reflect badly on the writer… great question.

By: Heidi Anderson

Heidi Anderson — Tue, 08 Jun 2010 14:55:57 +0000

I have two blogs, one listed above, and one that is FAR more sexual.

I have had my husband tell me that the sexual posts make him very proud, but also put pressure on him to keep providing “blogworthy” sex.

I have also blogged about past lovers, and never asked their consent. This post made me think about that!

By: wonkyfactory

wonkyfactory — Tue, 08 Jun 2010 14:50:24 +0000

Why don’t you try running your posts about specific women by them first — and of course publish them with the names changed?