Play Possum
4.18.10 Crystal | 8 Comments »
i was raped by a male “friend” in the presence of two other (male and a female) “friends” when i was 16. it was a terrible way to lose my virginity. i said no and weakly tried to push him away but then i FROZE. i didn’t know this was one of a few normal ways to respond to a sexual assault:
IF SHES NOT MOVING, STOP!
Hey Cris-this is really awesome-very honest and upfront-exactly where it should be.
rk
Thanks for posting, I wonder what the people in the room, your “friends” would say about this post? Have you ever talked to them about it?
thanks, raychul. your support over the last 20 (almost) years has made and tremendous difference in my life. as you can see, wounds are healed and no more secrets.
luv!
nancy!
thanks for your comment. i think its possible they would say the same terrible things they said in high school: that i wanted it, that i was overreacting, that it’s not rape just because i changed my mind about it later. all excuses!
truth is… i believe the assault could be classified as a drug facilitated gang rape. they provided and pressured me to take shots with them, knowing i did not drink. they coerced me into taking a drive. i was in the backseat of my very first car. after i froze, i blacked out. i woke up next to the other male in the backseat. i have no idea what happened.
i talked to the female a few years after it happened. it’s possible she felt guilty. she brought me a gift for my garden. i asked her what she thought of it now. she said she thought she had not taken it seriously enough. i find it interesting this meeting took place not long after she came out as a lesbian.
long in the past. i now work as a rape crisis/domestic violence counselor. this event shaped my life in unbelievable ways – even some positive!
Cousin,
Thank you for sharing. As horrible as that must have been it has been one of the many events in your life that has shaped you into an amazing and fabulous woman! I love you for exactly who you are and all that you are sure to still become!
No more secrets!
Honey, so sorry, I never really knew much about this story. Glad you are at a place where you can share it, and know you do much good in the world.
The sad thing is I don’t think this is such an unusual story, but I’d still like to kick the creep’s ass.
Crystal, this had to be hard for you to go so public to share. I think you are an amazingly wonderful woman. I am just sick you had to deal with this at a time when this was not known of as much. I also hate that I didn’t even know because it was too painful for you to share when it happened. I would have been there for you. YOU have always been MY best friend. Always will be too. I feel aweful that I was not able to be there for you.
Love you!!!
Crystal this is REAL TALK. I appreciate and applaud your honesty