I do, however, agree with Nancy- a post about intersectionality would be a great contribution to this blog, and I think that the want for a broader voice in feminism and this movement would be a wonderful impetus for that.

Obviously not all people of color are sexist – Carmen is Puerto Rican herself, and there are a huge amount of black and Latino people at college and elsewhere I’ve met who are tolerant and open minded. I’m not discussing them in this post, I’m discussing the sexist people of all ethnicities I worked with, and mentioning “oh they’re not all like this!” is pandering to political correctness for its own sake, and a more offensive use of white privilege in its condescension.

I grew up with working class people of all colors around me, and I could write books on their positives and the things I like about them, and friends have told me stories about how rich families can be just as sexist; it’s not constructive to this post on a feminist blog.

I’m glad you shared your actual unvarnished opinions, without editing yourself (at least so far as I can tell).

With that said, you seem kind of racist and snobbish – you have this broad brush view of African American and Latino men as all being sexist brutes, Latinas all being submissive and working class people in general being crude, crass and abusive.

It’s truly unfortunate that the main thing you seemed to have learned from going to college is to look down on those less privileged than you are – and, quite frankly, the racial and class bigotry tend to cancel out your feminism (unless, of course, you only believe in equality for upper class White women).

Ronan I appreciate greatly your story, and Jonathon as a colleague and someone I am growing to admire more and more, I really appreciate your honesty as well as the awareness and courage to hold yourself and others accountable for our words and beliefs, especially in such a compassionate and open way. I will say as a white guy doing gender-based violence myself, one of the most important steps I have personally taken in this work is to force myself to more proactively engage around my white privilege – I am lucky enough to live and work in a place where there are resources and support for me to do so (white anti-racist organizations/trainings/etc.) This has helped me immensely to begin to understand some of the similarities and the differences between anti-sexism and anti-racism work, and how crucial what Jonathon talks to is – that if we do not place our work to prevent gender based violence firmly in the context of other oppressions, then it lacks integrity and effectiveness, and really in the end is not anti-oppression work. Rob Okun said it well in re to homophobia and heterosexism at the conference….

Anyway, one more recommendation for men at the level of awareness of Ronan is to get involved with this issue in a more structured way (not assuming Ronan is not!). Whether joining a pro-feminist men’s organization, writing regularly for a blog, starting a men’s group at your local school, etc this can be a way to continue to grow as a feminist, be challenged in ever deeper and more meaningful ways, and will be a HUGE contribution to a movement that still needs a lot more involvement (Stupak anyone? sigh…) from men as aware and open to engaging on these issues as Ronan and Jonathan. Keep up the great work all and thanks to Nancy for giving us the space to hash this stuff out!

In my experience, it has always felt easy and reassuring to point out the sexism, racism, homophobia of others, who don’t get it and aren’t “safe” like me. However, we all are socialized in the same way relative to privilege, and we (speaking as a person with multiples privileges) all have done things that cause women (or other marginalized groups) harm. Given the spectrum of harmful male behavior, from taking up physical or vocal space, the impact of the male gaze, to the “try, try again” model of sexual encounter, men have created a pretty inhospitable world for the women in our lives to inhabit – even if we (as a group) weren’t raping, killing and stalking women at the obscene rate that men do.
A key step for privileged folks is to recognize this when they see it, to take responsibility for it and to work to change that behavior. This, you might imagine, is much easier to do when we can take responsibility as we blame “other” men who have less privilege. There is an intersectionality or layering of privileges, which works to allow middle class, white men the opportunity to blame poor men and/or men of color for the sexism and misogyny, racism and homophobia in our culture, while simultaneously dodging their role in both sexism and the racism and classism which impact other men, all while appearing to be a great savior. The impact of this, is that those men who hold less privilege are at increased likelihood of exhibiting an increasingly hegemonic manhood as they seek to hold as much power as possible, given their privilege deficits. What must be understood is the relationship that multiple layers of identity privilege has on the insecurities that drive abuse of that power, and how privileged men increase the collective harm by passing the buck.
I personally find the view that Dworkin expressed hateful ideals, rather than the pain of a population, which has been systematically and violently oppressed, problematic. From my experiences in being on the receiving end of classism, I can understand how my pain around that may sound hateful to those whose privilege (mostly) unintentionally caused me pain. As someone who identifies as a male person, I am also aware of the terrible consequences that others who are navigating the expectation to conform to hegemonic masculinity experience. We also do not fit neatly into the box given to us, and trying to scars us. The sad reality is that as we hurt ourselves chasing a mold that gives us great power, and we cause others even greater trauma in doing so.
The less we define traditional men as “other”, the less insecurity and fear they will have about their value as a male person. With more confidence, people are much more likely to question the way that they see masculinity, privilege and their role in the world. Above all, we have to remember that we’re not so different. The pursuit of acting out hegemonic masculinity is a common experience. Sexism and misogyny is pervasive, and until those of us who have been taught hegemonic masculinity actively start working to understand the costs both to ourselves and to those who are then oppressed by us, we will never change the culture. We have to be aware of our own role in this, while continuing to reach out to others not with a message of condemnation, but as difficult as it sometimes is, a message of compassion and understanding directed at their own self-interest. That is what will broaden the support and make real social change a reality.
The traditional college age population this author represents is increasingly exploring and expanding gender roles and intersecting privilege in ways that older generations have not. We must be willing to not only do the hard, and sometimes hurtful work of self reflection and creating change, but to celebrate the victories we do have. It is such difficult work, with such a high cost for failure that we need to ensure that we maintain our strength of purpose with some joy. This population of young people gives great hope for the new healthier world ahead of us… and that is certainly deserving of celebration.