Archive for September, 2009

When Lines Get Smeared

What’s the “smeary line”? Writing on the situation at Hofstra this week — where a female student accused five men of raping her on campus, and then recanted within three days of bringing the charges — Emily Bazelon offers this as a way to make sense of things, maybe?

Some feminist voices began to admit that, yes, the hookup culture and dating in general had blurred into a charcoal smear their own line between consenting and being sexually assaulted.

Feminists may be working out their own rape doctrines, but these are still likely to be useless for police and prosecutors. Nonconsensual sex between two people who know each other, whatever you call it, is a terribly awkward fit for our adversarial criminal justice system.

This is an incredibly painful and tough case, especially as it fits into a long and drawn-out fight within feminism around how we address rape in the context of casual dating and hooking up. But the line around consent, I don’t think that’s all that smeary — it’s the way we talk about consent that’s almost always messy.

“Know How To Satisfy Moi”

Strolling down St. Marks Place, on one of the last of New York’s sticky Summer nights, I ran into this gal I know from Lower East Side youth activism. She was down to make some stickers, as long as I didn’t take a photo of her while she was smoking a cigarette.  At first she was stumped…  “be a genius with your penis” was her friend’s motto, but wasn’t quite right for her. She opted for something a little sexier. The “moi” in case you don’t know, is “me” in French.

Washington, DC: THE LINE at American University, September 24

poster: american university screening

On Thursday, Nancy and I are going to hop a train (which sounds a lot more romantic than racing to it with laptops and cameras will probably be) for THE LINE’s first Washington, DC screening at American University, also the home of our fabulous intern Carmen Rios. It’s going to be a total reunion for us, and my first time getting to see THE LINE play in front of a college crowd.

We’ve got an invite on Facebook that you can share, or RSVP to, if you can come. And if you can come, comment here and let us know and we’ll make sure to connect with you and shoot a sticker photo with you in our super high-tech Photo Booth. (It’s probably only slightly less amazing than what you can already do in your own room.)

Thanks, We Totally Get That We Should “Watch Our Drinks!” Already

Jaclyn Friedman, co-editor of the anthology Yes Means Yes: Visions of Female Sexual Power and A World Without Rape, takes on the sexism inherent in campus-based rape “prevention” programs:

At about this time every year, adult anxiety about sexual assault reaches a tipping point and gives way to an avalanche of advice to young women from campuses, commentators, and parents alike: Don’t hook up! Don’t dress provocatively! Watch your drink! Actually, don’t drink at all! Always stay with a friend! Don’t stay out too late! Don’t walk home alone! Etcetera, etcetera, ad nauseam.

And every year, it fails to work. A 2007 Department of Justice-funded trend analysis of rape studies over time revealed that rates of rape haven’t declined in the past 15 years — in fact, they may be increasing.

Why hasn’t it worked? Perhaps it’s because making rape prevention the responsibility of young women teaches students that guys can’t be expected to be responsible for their own actions.

Is this the time to start collecting horror stories of our own worst experiences with college “rape prevention” tactics? I can start.

rape whistle

The rape whistle.

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“Ask Before You’re Mean.”

ask-before-youre-mean

What people consider “rough” in sex is so different, and can change so quickly — never mind the fact that women who ask for someone to be mean or dominating is still too complicated for some people (some partners, some feminists, some friends) to deal with. It’s like we can have lots of sex, so long as we’re “romantic” about it. Or, worse, if we want someone to pull our hair, it’s because we are “up for anything” and have “no boundaries,” not because it’s something we like to do: all the time, some times, just with them, just to try it.

Between chick flick cuddling and facial come shots, there’s a whole spectrum of things to do in bed, and the common denominator is, we can ask for any of them.