“Ask Before You’re Mean.”


What people consider “rough” in sex is so different, and can change so quickly — never mind the fact that women who ask for someone to be mean or dominating is still too complicated for some people (some partners, some feminists, some friends) to deal with. It’s like we can have lots of sex, so long as we’re “romantic” about it. Or, worse, if we want someone to pull our hair, it’s because we are “up for anything” and have “no boundaries,” not because it’s something we like to do: all the time, some times, just with them, just to try it.

Between chick flick cuddling and facial come shots, there’s a whole spectrum of things to do in bed, and the common denominator is, we can ask for any of them.

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